"Pass then through this little space of time conformably to nature, and end thy journey in content, just as an olive falls off when it is ripe, blessing nature who produced it, and thanking the tree on which it grew." -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
You may be wondering if you missed Part 1 of this blog series. Well, yes, that’s quite possible. It was posted in 2017, the year my dad died.
The last year has been personally challenging:
A client who had become a dear friend died last December from cancer.
One of my dogs, Frankie, died in April.
My mom died in June.
Recently, I attended two “celebration of life” events within a few weeks for friends who had passed – one after a courageous and harrowing 10-year battle with ALS.
Oh, and my 100+ year old tree - the anchor of our yard and the reason we built our house where we did - died. It sounds trite. It wasn’t.
So what do you do when you get so many reminders in a short period of time that life is quite commonly full of tragedy? I don’t fully know the answer, and I welcome any thoughts from readers. As for me, I started in the only place I could - with rest and taking care of myself. I haven’t written much this year because the muse was not showing up. I usually find myself writing in my mind nearly all the time, thinking of ways that I can communicate about that magical place where good money decisions improve one’s life and how we can help more people gain confidence in these decisions. The good news is that the muse has started showing up again. We released an update on the firm last week, and we will be releasing articles regularly again in the coming weeks.
My next step was to turn to family and friends, who quietly and constantly showed up for me. There is a reason that we make time to come around a table with these people not only at the holidays but in moments of joy and grief. It’s because they are our people. I have been so fortunate to spend time with many people I love this year, even if it was at more funerals than I cared for.
And last, I just gave thanks over and over. For the time I had with those I lost, for the shade the tree provided from the Texas heat for a century, for the memories of my dog curled up in a ray of sun on my office floor. I also focused on the living and gave thanks for the little miracles happening all around me. For the two new babies born to our team members, for my own children growing into adults, for celebrating 25 years of being married to the love of my life (also known as my best decision ever), for my aunt’s 90th birthday party, for the tales of adventures taken by my friends and their families, for the energizing growth of our team and our firm.
The most magnificent part of being a financial advisor is the abundance of life lessons you receive along the way while you are helping others. You learn about how and why people make choices, what led them down certain paths and not others. And you learn the best life practices of people who, despite their own share of tragedy and loss, are happy and satisfied with their lives. It is no coincidence that I took care of myself, spent time with family and friends, and gave thanks – these are the examples that my clients have shown me over the years. I have also seen that grief is often paired with joy, and that both of these things can be true.
My mom passed down an heirloom bowl to me a few years ago. Wide and wooden and sublimely simple in design, its beauty comes from the many hands that have held it through generations - delivering it to dinner tables and celebrations over the past century. More than the stuffing and other dishes that this bowl has collected over five generations, this bowl drips with memories and is the anchor of our Thanksgiving table. While this year the bowl may bring some grief with the joy of the holiday, my focus is on the future and the little miracles that are yet to come in my life and the lives of those I love.
As you come around the table this week, and as you see the familiar faces of your people, maybe see some new faces, or as you yearn for those that are no longer at the table, we wish you many reasons to give thanks and celebrate. And we wish you a sprinkling of your own little miracles.
Happy Thanksgiving from BFS Advisory Group!